Cultivating a Growth Connection Mindset

Mindset talk is pretty common these days, especially in education and parenting.  You and I want our children and ourselves to have a growth mindset. How can we cultivate a growth connection mindset?  First, we need to realize the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

According to Carol Dwek, a psychologist who has done much research in this area:

A mindset, according to Dweck, is a self-perception or “self-theory” that people hold about themselves. Believing that you are either “intelligent” or “unintelligent” is a simple example of a (fixed) mindset.

What is a fixed mindset? 

Dwek writes:

 “In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort.”

Dweck’s research suggests that students who have adopted a fixed mindset—the belief that they are either “smart” or “dumb” and there is no way to change this, for example—may learn less than they could or learn at a slower rate, while also shying away from challenges (since poor performance might either confirm they can’t learn, if they believe they are “dumb,” or indicate that they are less intelligent than they think, if they believe they are “smart”).

What is a growth mindset? 

Dwek continues:

 “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment,” writes Dweck.

Students who embrace growth mindsets—the belief that they can learn more or become smarter if they work hard and persevere—may learn more, learn it more quickly, and view challenges and failures as opportunities to improve their learning and skills.

How can we cultivate a growth mindset to making connections? 

Sometimes, I think, I can get in a rut about making connections with other people.  Haven’t you heard,, “Oh, she’s just good with people.”  Or, “I can’t seem to connect with my grandchildren.”

This pandemic has certainly stretched my thinking in how to cultivate a growth mindset toward making connections.  Each of us in our own way has had to get creative to make those connections with people outside our homes.  I have been fortunate enough to hear about some of the others who have embraced a growth mindset to connect with friends and family members by perseverance if nothing else.

Cultivation in a garden requires tilling the soil, pulling the weeds, planting seeds, watering and praying for sunshine.  The interesting thing in nature is that we do have to rely on God for growth.

That is true in cultivating and having those growth connections, especially with friends and family.  We can be intentional in our planting.  However, asking God for the types of seeds to plant, when to plant and how to plant can be helpful.

Here are some of the ways I have heard people cultivate connections during the pandemic:

• Family Zoom calls weekly with family members
• Zoom calls with several friends for coffee or tea
• Family Zoom calls with individual family members and doing drawings with programs on youtube, like the Art for Kids Hub
• Family private Facebook groups so that activities and pictures can be posted
• .Marco Polo, an app that lets families talk to each other even when their schedules don’t match
•   Even reading together from the Kindle Library app made for your desktop
• Visiting family members outside for playdates and even doing bonfires

Once you get going, I am sure you’ll figure out ways to cultivate connections with family and friends

What about you?

What growth mindset do you need to cultivate for connections, or reconnect as we move forward out of the pandemic?  What have you learned about connections that you want to be sure to take with you?

I would love to hear about what you have done to keep connections going or new ways you hope to connect in the future.  God made us to connect and thrive in community.  What are you doing to cultivate your connections to grow?

As a spiritual director, I walk with people who want to hear and see God more clearly in their lives. If this post is helpful to you, could you share it with others?  Or if there is a way that I can be praying specifically for you, would you reply to this post?  I want to be of service to you in your life and the lives of others.  I look forward to walking with you in the world “for such a time as this.”